Dating habits of a singleton

This particular singleton, me, is blogging about dating because (a) I'm in a lot of pain physically and the ongoing traumas of the dating world are easier to think about and (b) I've decided radical celibacy will not be workable for the rest of my life.

These days, the fact that I haven't even so much as kissed a man in a year and a half weighs on me.  And I figured out that my strategy of avoiding everyone in my life who is not a family member is not helping that.


Also, I need to make a concerted effort to get over my ex.

Therefore, I've joined some dating sites.  One is good, called OK Cupid.  I heard about it on Dan Savage's podcast.  I like it.  It asks all kinds of questions, you fill out tests, it ranks matches, and it is free!  And so far I've had some contacts.  The other site I'm on, called Plenty of Fish, seems to be all about booty.  Not for me.

In the past I don't feel like I ever dated exactly.  I mean, yes, if one were to count them up, I've dated a few men (more than I ever brought home, mom).  And no wisecracks from a specific friend who knew me in high school. :)  The thing is I'm more of a become friends, merge into something else, see if it works out, and then you're together.  I haven't gone on a "dinner and movie" type official date with someone I just met since I was 18.

For instance, my ex husband.  I met him through mutual friends.  There was some hanging out.  Our "first date" as I'll call it because he kissed me at the end, was not meant to be one because our friends were supposed to meet up with us and never did.  The second date was me cooking dinner and inviting him over.  And then we got together.  And then we got engaged.  And then we got married.

So now I have new friends to text and chat with and it's fun, I have to admit.  But this dating thing, so far over my head.  But I can't wait for everything in my life to line up perfectly - me get all better, get a job that pays more than I make now, etc.

It can't be like the Colin Hay song.  I can't just be "waiting for my real life to begin".  This is my real life.  And I want to be living it, not waiting around in it.  Going to Hawaii helped me learn that.

"Waiting for my real life to begin"*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlSkfk_zOuE

*That chick in the background is an odd one...