Here's what I've noticed - not just lately. Pain is boring. It tends to spread boring and dull throughout your life. Now, you can do your very best to choose not to be affected by it, but inevitably it will hit you. You will end up smacked out on pain killers fighting to stay awake with everything else besides sleep seeming ridiculously uninteresting to you, or you'll be in horrible pain and have to deal with it in ways that cut you out of life to the point where even lying in bed reading a magazine is too much and once again, there you are, staring into space.
I write about this like it's some kind of immutable law. And right now it feels like it is. But I've been a little sick lately and the side effects of the pills are getting to me. But I have lists of things I'd really like to do. And even when smacked out staring into space, I'm still dreaming of doing them. I think that's a good sign, right? And being a drama queen means the boring hasn't completely taken over - so another good sign, right?
I dream of writing now. I dream of sewing, and doing fun things, and then I put the dishes in the dishwasher and go take a nap!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you feel boring, I feel boring too. I wish there was something I could do to make us both feel a little bit better!
In my rosy, selective memories of mere years ago, I wasn't this board. I was working a job that demanded 60+ hours a week and was teaching on top of that. I would have done terrible things for boredom. It's the human condition, right? :)
ReplyDeleteI know! The grass is always greener...although I do wish for those college days when the biggest thing was whether that cute boy I liked would call, and what I would do for the weekend. That state of fun would be awesome right now! :)
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