Poopies

This post is about how rotten I feel.  Seriously, I feel like poop.  Right now I am at that point where earlier today I got in pain and hours and hours since I haven't been able to get out of pain and I can't just keep popping more pills at this point.  And I hurt everywhere and my head hurts and has that drugged feeling and I am nauseous and I am perpetually tired and...

I'm wondering why I got back on pain pills.  I knew that Norco would only help for a little while before I'd start having to trade up to harder and harder substances.  My next step would be the -contin family, I suppose.  Maybe I could try Darviset or Demerol... I hate them all.  But I knew it would be this way.  I guess I just have to remember what it was like before.  It must have been bad if I wanted to do this, right?

I better call my doctor, get some sleep, try again tomorrow.  I don't know...

One thing: next week after I get my first direct deposit social security check, I'm going to get a gym membership so I can swim and my mom is going to let me borrow the car during the day so I can go do that! That should at least help with the muscle pain.

Deep breaths.  Good things on the horizon.  :)