The middle

Nope - not referring to the Jimmy Eat World song.  Instead, I am referring to that far off, fantastical place I can never seem to find.  I am a woman of extremes, of the all or nothing persuasion, leaning off course toward all (read: perfectionism) and in absence of it wanting nothing.

Case in point.

This week I realized not only do I hate being on painkillers, but they did not bring the superwoman-like powers I so mistakingly believed the would.  Coming to the rather shocking and painful (stabbing painful) reality of this, put me in the dumps.  If I couldn't start doing every single thing I wanted to do right then, well by hell I wasn't going to do any of it.

Today I had a couple of realizations.  First, if I drink like three cups of coffee, I can stay awake while taking painkillers.  Two, all hopped up on caffeine I realized even if I couldn't do everything, I could at least do some things.

So I came home, donned my "butt shoes" and iPod and took off down the road for an intentioned long walk.  Fifteen minutes in I had developed freaking epic blisters.  I went home early, but still happy to have done it at all.  I'm going to do some more stuff tomorrow.  Maybe 10 songs on "Just Dance" or something.

I do realize this has been a recurring theme in this blog, in my life.  Bear with me, sometimes it takes many, many lessons for me to figure it out.