Taking back the power. Re-introducing me to me. It's a process. And sometimes I'm kind of slow in processing. But here are some things I've decided lately. Consider it my cacophony of epiphany.
First off, I do what I want, when I want, and I go after what I want. I'm the boss of me. Also, I'm a pretty good boss.
Second, there is no more victim mentality, language, etc. I was on the phone with a friend and I made this distinction regarding the things you believe in, the important things. I said people shouldn't fight about them, we should fight for them.
That's what I'm going to do. I'm going to go after the things I want with every breath in my body. I haven't really done this in awhile because for so long the things I've wanted have not worked out or gone to shit. I stopped having hopes and dreams because the disappointment is crushing and I thought if there were no hopes or dreams, then no hopes or dreams could be crushed.
In the spirit of my resolution to hope and fight and chase and dream, I've decided that I'm going for it. I am going to put high hopes in my writing and my book. I'm going to take a chance on love that might end in a disaster. And I'm going to run, despite scoffs by healthcare professionals that being a runner again is not something I will get to do.
To hell with that. Maybe I won't run tomorrow or in a couple of months or even a year. But it's something I want and I'm going for it. In that spirit, I've started putting together a new running playlist for my iPod. I've got some Kings of Leon and Katy Perry and of course Lady Gaga and Beyonce.
I'm strong. I forget that a lot. I forget I'm a bird girl.
Note: post title is a reference from the Kings of Leon song, "Use Somebody".
You really are one of the most resilient persons that I know. You will run again and it will be awesome! Good luck!
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