Follow your bliss

I've written about this before so it should come as no surprise that I am a planner.  In absence of a plan I feel lost, adrift, befuddled.  Thus I have been seeking out a plan for some time.  I need a new game plan as I finally come to terms with my plan A (happily ever after with the man I love, etc) is actually over.  


You've read posts where I dither between this and that, trying to work out a Plan B.  And I convinced myself that what was practical was the best Plan B for me.  However...


“Le cœur a ses raisons que la raison ne connaît pas.”


Or...


"The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing." B. Pascal


Let me tell you where my heart is.


My heart is in brunch at Red Feather with bottomless mimosas and listening to Thomas Paul.  My heart is in watching the snow rise and recede on the foothills.  My heart is in Soul Food in Julia Davis Park and the Hyde Park Street Fair.  My heart is homesick and has been since I left Boise.  My heart misses Dr. Z. and his blunt diagnoses and the faith I can place in him so easily as a neurologist.  


Now let me be clear.  My heart desperately wants other things as well, a few of which I would travel any distance, climb any mountain, cite any cliche to attain.  But what am I going to do?  Sit around endlessly and let my destiny rest in the hands of others?  Decidedly not.  Time to bring back the power to every aspect of my life, be the person my sweet sister thinks I am capable of being.


I am happy where I am now, hanging out here with my family, and enjoying all the perks that brings.  I'll stay here for awhile.  But now I think I can sit back and enjoy it more fully because I have a Plan B.  It may work out, it may not, but for a planner all that really matters is the plan.


Above: "The Heart has It's Reasons" by Redon