Pain

Sometimes I forget how much pain I could be in. The last couple of months I have done everything I can think of to reduce the amount of pain I am in everyday. It's never enough, but it's something.

But today when I was working on packing up my room I got a shocking reminder of just how bad this can get. I think I have selective amnesia when it comes to remembering. Right now it's the stabbing and the shooting pain that is keeping me up. I can't do this with just ice packs and scalding hot baths. I need more. I need medical attention.

This may sound macabre, but I take comfort in knowing that the amount of pain a person can feel is not infinite. At some point you go into shock and pass out. It's happened before. So even though I don't see an end in sight, I know there are at least some limits.