A two-post day

Today is apparently a day of thought requiring two posts. You thought you were safe and then, wham! Another post!

If you could see into my head I think it would look something like under my bed - random junk that I've knocked under there in the night, dust bunnies, and more dog hair around the edges than I would ever admit. It's been a quiet day here - my brother is working - and I've been doing a lot more thinking. Yes, I am still getting rid of my Christmas tree ornaments - this is a new topic. Well, not really a new one exactly.

It's just that in the past few days between all my facebook friends there has been an accumulated more-than-usual amount of Boise talk. There have been a bunch of old debate team photos posted. (It really has been ten years!) And a friend has been updating lots of Boise goings-on. Good thing another friend wrote about it being only 27 degrees there yesterday or I might be on a Greyhound right now. Okay maybe not, they are kind of like a public toilet on wheels.

I just miss my hometown so much! I call it this because I lived there twice as long as I lived anywhere else and I feel like I grew up there. So I'm homesick. And it sucks because I can't see my way to getting back there any time soon. I've already covered this: I can't get financial aid from Boise State so I can't go to school, so then there is no progress, no goals, no future. And I've told myself this over and over. If you think I'm repetitive to read, just imagine being in the dust bunny head.

So sometimes I think growing up means knowing that immediate gratification is not always conducive to long-term happiness. I'm now grown up enough to realize it - but not grown up enough to not pitch a fit about it.