I realize that my postings have been pretty random of late - a stream of consciousness at times. I've become of lover of blogging; I love putting your stuff out there into the internet universe and being so open at a pretty anonymous level.
The reason I've been all over the place lately is because if I wrote about what's going on in my life day-to-day it would be this daily bitch fest on how miserable I am, how much pain I am in, and how depressed I am. I would probably also write often about how I wished I lived alone (like the book I loved as a kid).
But I am really trying instead to sharpen a clarity of self and to acknowledge the hope I am daring to feel.
I have to admit I've been indulging in magical thinking lately. I could tell you what I would do if I suddenly won $25,000 or $100,000 or millions.
Except I am pretty sure my answers are not in a lottery ticket. Instead they are inside me. So don't mind the rambling 3AM posts. I'm just trying to figure it all out.
You've made a very good observation. And I'm sure the answers do lie in you. I'm sure that whatever happens you have the strength to overcome and triumph over it!
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm so glad you have a blog. I love to hear what you think about at 3 am! It's fun!
Yes! Keep rambling; keep posting; keep figuring it out. You'll get there. I know you'll get there, and I love reading whatever you come up with--especially if it's random!
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