Snoring and such

Last night I was preparing to fall asleep, wondering if the usual crying jag would start when I heard a wonderful sound. It was this loud, loud snoring - buzz saw snoring - and I had to laugh out loud at my dog Sully. Since she was a baby, she would fall asleep and snore like nothing else. It was a great sound.

I got thinking about something when I was talking to my sis yesterday.

I've really been trying hard not to be the woman getting divorced who does nothing but talk about her ex and her divorce, etc. I've been trying too hard. Instead, I haven't really talked through anything. I haven't really dealt with anything.

Maybe it is time to start?

In preparation for my hearing my lawyer asked me if I thought my ongoing pain situation contributed to my separation from my husband.

That's easy. It did.

My husband was there for me, helped me, listened to me. But I'm sure it was so hard on him. And we had a lot of really rough things to go through during this time. When it came down to the end, and I won't get into the issues of what eventually broke us up, we weren't strong enough to make it through.

So I grieve.

I lost my house, my car, my husband...

I think it's important to grieve and I'm going to acknowledge it now.

And it's still great to have my Sully snoring me to sleep.