Moving to Eugene I had certain expectations. None of them have actualized as I expected. Moving here I never really planned on friends.
Now, I realize how that sounds. It sounds ridiculously piteous. But really, I have friends in far off places; I have friends in my husband, my sister, and my housemates. What more do I need?
But I have friends! Somehow I have acquired lots of friends – that I actually like! And not just any friends, girlfriends.
I was worried at first. No, let’s be honest. I’m still worried. I don’t like to talk about myself, I don’t like to open up, and for sure I don’t like to talk about this whole pain thing. But it all comes up. I feel awkward. I feel stupid.
Do I really want or need friends? I think the answer is yes. Moreover, I think I like having friends, having girlfriends. (I stress this because I haven’t had a group of girlfriends in a long time.)
So it’s true, I think:
But you got to have friends
The feeling's oh so strong
You go to have friends
To make that day last long
(Bette Midler)
Click title to watch Bette Midler sing “Friends”
After a certain age (past the teen/early 20's) a woman realizes how wonderful it is to have other women as friends. We all have a bond that creates a closeness that doesn't have to be intimate (knowing everything about each other) yet our commonalities (fears, hopes, dreams) are so strong that relationships are easier, simpler, more enjoyable. I think the real challenge is getting over that high-school "frenemies" stage.
ReplyDeleteIt IS nice to be over the "frenemies" stage and having the real kind of girlfriends. It's pretty cool and I think I'm on the right track here with some of these cool chicas!
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy for you. This is something I struggled with so much when I moved, I had some girlfriends that I could trade kids with/cry on/talk to, and I do miss them so much.
ReplyDeleteHere, eh, still working on that, but it get's a little bit better each day!
So I'm glad that you're finding people to relate to, to spend time with, and to enjoy!
And even though we were friends in high school, you were the only girl I didn't feel "frenemieish" about! :)
You are still my best and favorite girlfriend!
ReplyDeleteRight back at you sista! :)
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