On the occasion of my 100th post...

This is my 100th post!

Today I am taking it easy. The weather conditions are much better and I seem to have recovered from the heat stroke, but I also don’t seem to be sweating either and it’s not that I have some super awesome deodorant. But there is a breeze and I am grateful for it.

Last night I sat on our front step and ate cherries and looked at the fruit trees in our little front yard. I talked to my sister for awhile and watched her silly doggie play in the grass.

Today I finished skirt #3.

So on the occasion of my 100th post I am aching and sore, but so happy to have done something besides hide out in the basement or lay on the couch trying to keep my temperature down.

Now excuse me, I think I will stop lying around typing and go limp around make some tasty vegetarian vittles.

Heat Stroke

Here are a few symptoms: you don’t sweat, you have a headache, you are generally dizzy and things are kind of confusing (such as my husband had me to some basic math last night that really threw me for a loop), your heart beat is nuts (but surprisingly blood pressure drops), you get nauseous, really chilly, you have a crazy fever, and everything swells. Not to mention, you are radiating heat.

For the last 24 hours I’ve had and now am trying to stave off heat stroke. Last night my husband recognized it as such and got me into a cold water bath and brought my 102.6 degree temperature down to a respectable 97. (I am one of those weirdoes whose norm is at 96.8 instead of 98.6.)

But then last night as the blazing heat wave didn’t subside I was back over a hundred and this time lying with ice packs and a cold towel. Now I am sitting in the basement of our house trying to keep from spiking 100 again. (Got close, but more ice did the job.)

Can I just say this sucks? The basement sucks. This is a freaking dungeon. The only people who hang out down here are the boys when they play Nintendo. Seriously, Nintendo… Mario Bros. 3 and such.

But nobody wants to go to the E.R. Right? Right?

Swimming update!

I did get in the kiddie pool. I read silly magazines and drank lemonade. It was lovely.

The only girl NOT swimming today

I was going to write this attempted witty little post about the things I’ve had to get used to since moving to Eugene. But this cropped up in the meantime and since my feelings are now hurting, I have to write about this. Maybe I’ll do the other later, we’ll see.

Today my new friend made calls to everyone in the house (well, not everyone, my sister, my husband, and me). She asked everyone to go swimming at this great swimming hole. Except me. She asked me if she could come over and pick up her swimming suit.

She is the kindest, sweetest person, so there was no ill intent. She simply knew that I’d say no because you have to kind of hike into the place, there is nowhere comfy to sit down, and they would be there most of the day.

I’ll never be used to this, not in Boise, not in Eugene, not anywhere.

Maybe I’ll go sit in my dog’s kiddie pool (once it’s been drained and re-filled of course).

Heat wave, stupid heat wave

Is it too hot at your house? It is too stinking hot at my house! This is Eugene! I thought this was a more temperate climate than Boise, and here it is, a freaking heat wave. Today it’s supposed to get to 95 degrees and here’s my stupid forecast!





MONDAY - 97/57
TUESDAY - 102/60
WEDNESDAY - 100/62
THURSDAY - 92/57
FRIDAY - 85/55
SATURDAY - 87/55

But we’re all suffering right? I have to believe this because misery loves company. And you all better not have air conditioning, because I don’t damn it.

Writing...

Lately I’ve been writing up a storm! Just not on this blog. I’ve been working really hard on my writing, working on it everyday. So I wanted to post a little note saying, hey, I’m doing okay, a little sore from sitting on the bed with my laptop for so long each day, but otherwise hanging in there and happy to be doing something I love everyday.

Rationing

I am now in medication rationing mode. Before leaving Boise and before my health insurance expired back in May, my generous docs prescribed three months worth of drugs for me. I am coming up on that third month and with no relief in sight (no decisions made yet by Principal Life, still awaiting my psych eval) I’ve begun rationing.

What does this mean? It means slightly lowering dosages to get more bang for what’s left of my meds, make them last until I can get some kind of determination that will lead me to health care.

There are of course consequences, but I’m managing. What keeps me sane is knowing that at the end of the month there will still be pills in the bottle.

PS I think my nonfunctioning pain pump has started beeping at me. (This means it requires attention from someone with the tools to tell it to stop beeping, AKA an expensive neurologist.)

You've got to have friends?

Moving to Eugene I had certain expectations. None of them have actualized as I expected. Moving here I never really planned on friends.

Now, I realize how that sounds. It sounds ridiculously piteous. But really, I have friends in far off places; I have friends in my husband, my sister, and my housemates. What more do I need?

But I have friends! Somehow I have acquired lots of friends – that I actually like! And not just any friends, girlfriends.

I was worried at first. No, let’s be honest. I’m still worried. I don’t like to talk about myself, I don’t like to open up, and for sure I don’t like to talk about this whole pain thing. But it all comes up. I feel awkward. I feel stupid.

Do I really want or need friends? I think the answer is yes. Moreover, I think I like having friends, having girlfriends. (I stress this because I haven’t had a group of girlfriends in a long time.)

So it’s true, I think:

But you got to have friends
The feeling's oh so strong
You go to have friends
To make that day last long

(Bette Midler)

Click title to watch Bette Midler sing “Friends”

Here are a few photos of what I’ve been up to over the past couple of days.

Skirts (I’ve finished skirt number two, and skirt number three is only in the washed fabric ready to be cut out stage)



Records (yes, I’ve discovered records in the iTunes age)



Newly tuned piano (rediscovering playing a beautiful instrument all over again)



Now to take a bath because making a skirt and doing the dishes has me completely done for today… except I have a new skirt to wear and need somewhere to go…

Today

I am doing better today. Just had a bit of a nosedive there for a minute. But am better now. I got my official letter saying my psych eval will be in a month, August 13. So far away!

But yesterday I finished the skirt I was making when I started teaching my friend to sew. I also got a message from my sister-in-law and my lovely year old niece on my phone. It cheered me.

Today the piano tuner came and now the piano I grew up with sounds like it never has before. Also, we found some of my brother’s Lego men inside it. That’s enough for a giggle.

Pain is even better today.

Melancholia

I feel morose, melancholy. I committed myself to some kind of honesty with this blog and so here goes. Deep breath here.

Three days now of pretty bad pain. It puts me in a very depressed place. I feel like I’ll never crawl out. I feel helpless.

I’ve actually talked about this with someone I barely know (sister’s boyfriend’s mom) in front of someone I barely know (roommate) and feel very vulnerable. I hate talking about this. I do my best to hide it.

Today my dog ran out and chased a car and I couldn’t do anything about it. Helpless. Useless.

Everyone went to Doggy Heaven dog park but me. Left out. Lonely. Pointless.

So I sit here listening to music that makes me cry, trying not to cry. How self-defeating is that? I should put on my favorite Clash record and rock out but I’d rather be sad.

Oh, and I got f@#$%&* frostbite again. Yup, just going to sit here and wallow for awhile.

PS Click on the title of this posting for a link to Thomas Paul’s recent release House on Fire, and then listen to track 10, “A Footnote to History”.

Pushing past pain, again

The only reason I got out of bed yesterday was because I wanted to so badly. There was so much pain. But apparently we Taurus’s are stubborn folk and I didn’t care if I had to crawl out of bed, I was getting up, damn it.

My parents came into the Eugene area with a load on their truck and my sister’s boyfriend’s parents are here for the weekend. There was too much promise in the weekend for having to spend a weekend in bed, even if it would have been better for me.

Or would it be?

I have been doing so much better emotionally or psychologically since being so much more involved in life here. I’ve been in much more pain, but I’m happier over all.

I’m not sure what to do with that…

Cucina Cucina

I am so busy!

I was never this busy in Boise!

You’ve probably figured this out by now. But what I really want to write about is cooking. I am busy cooking. I wrote about this last post, too. But after last night’s supper, I have to write again.

After going off processed foods, or at least attempting such, I realized I have gone off fortified foods and need to actually pay attention to getting nutrients in my diet. So I went to the store and bought some lovely organic produce. I planned a great meal for myself… and then it happened.

My husband asked if I’d just cook a bit more of it for him. Then my sister’s boyfriend asked if I would mind throwing in a little extra for him. By then, there were three of us, so I asked my sister, and then there were four. My other roommate had already eaten so this night there were only four instead of five.

It’s not a big deal. I actually like cooking and I only cook when I feel like it. But let’s review:

Thursday – last night, already discussed
Wednesday – cooked for roommates, self
Tuesday – cooked for party
Monday – Bingo
Sunday – cooked for roommates, self

Notice a trend?

But here’s the thing. I’m totally enjoying it. There is something really fun about us all gathering around the table with a “fine mess of sup” as my husband says. And don’t worry. When I stop enjoying it, I’ll stop doing it.

A big 'ole update

It’s been a few days since I’ve written and what I have added hasn’t always been informative, so I’ve decided this will be an update posting.

Health and healthcare – Everything is still sort of stalled. Principal Life wants me to have a psychiatric evaluation done here in Eugene, and until that is done and the results are in, I’m stuck. If they determine the pain is all in my head, then I get to keep my benefits, apparently. Then I will buy some expensive health insurance and get the ball rolling. If they say I’m not crazy (or crazier than already documented, ha!) then I lose my benefits, I apply for government health care and get the ball rolling. In the meantime I wait.

The whole bad pain pump screw up situation – I spoke with an attorney in Boise recommended to me by a good friend, who gave me the name of an attorney who does malpractice stuff. Just need to follow-up now. But I was cautioned. In Idaho it is a tough standard to prove. He said it sounds like the surgeon screwed up, but malpractice is hard.

And now for the fun stuff – I’ve been really busy of late. I’ve discovered Monday night bingo, yes bingo, at our local watering hole. We had a great party for my sister’s boyfriend’s birthday. I am teaching a new friend of mine to sew.

I’ve been trying to do more cooking rather than microwaving. Nothing that takes more than say, 10-15 minutes or is super involved because of the whole standing issue, but eating delicious vegetarian cooking is better than turning microwave crap-food without meat into some sort of vegetarian food.

It’s a good life. I am grateful.

The Sweet Life

Having spent yesterday in bed missing all the fun (a swimming trip, a potluck, a party), this morning I awoke with the resolve that I didn’t care if it killed me I was getting up out of bed and having a real day.

And oh, what discoveries were made.

First, the local patisserie, Sweet Life. My husband and I had our coffee and a pastry there this morning and it was divine, glorious, decadent. Come visit, we’ll go to breakfast there, which is more like dessert, depending upon what you order.



Second, the Smith Family Bookstore. As husband put it, “It’s like the library, only all the books are for sale!” New and used books and I used by whole allowance in one trip, that great.



We picked peas… awhile ago, so tonight I’ll make potatoes and peas, having purchased some new little red potatoes from the Kiva. To go with, an indulgence of gorgonzola and ciabatta bread.

What a better day, no?

Magic and doggy heaven aka Zumwalt Park

This is Doggy Heaven, Doggy Paradise, or as the county calls it, Zumwalt Park. It is a place where dogs can run free and be dogs. There are fields for Frisbee and endless running, and oh, yeah, since it is at a reservoir there is the biggest doggie wading pool in existence.

We discovered Doggy Heaven after the weekend I spent much of crying and had a total tear-fest over whether the dogs would have been better off in Boise. Then than Monday, my sister’s boyfriend asks us if we’d like to try this place he takes his dog and a neighbor dog. Once we spend an hour there, I am alright. The dogs are tired and happy for days.

One of my new friends here, we’ll call her Janis because of her love for the singer, related a story to me to illustrate her point about how magical this place (meaning Eugene) really is. She said she wanted to have a hula hoop making party in honor of her moving to the neighborhood, but since she’d just moved, she couldn’t afford all the supplies. Just as she thought this, she said she stumbled on a free box (we have loads of them here) with enough tubing and materials for her party.

This place has pushed and pushed and pushed me outside my comfort zone when it comes to people. Last night was a great example. We were at our local watering hole, Sam Bonds Garage, and I realized – I knew the bartender, her brother, became friends with the person sitting next to us, and then waited for a party of people that included friends and more people to meet.

And I was okay with it. I had a wonderful time. It was out of character and out of comfort and it was okay.

But I sat too long and ended up spending all day today in bed with pain; couldn’t even make it downstairs. I wonder what this will push me into next…? You never know with this place, some say it is magical.

Another move, but just a little one

Yesterday we moved into our new room! Today we put on the finishing touches. Oh, it is so nice to have a little more room! Tons more room in comparison. My sister said the reason we had to stay in the other room first was so we’d appreciate this room more. Let’s just say, I am reveling in the extra space.

Now we get to use the upstairs bathroom, which is also so much bigger. Now there are more windows in our room, and when we open the door, a window at the top of the stairs aligns perfectly with the windows in our room (the windows on the front of the house, second story if you remember pics from an earlier posting) and there’s more airflow. It’s marvelous.

I’m gushing.

And if you are wondering if I worked too hard and went up and down stairs with too much stuff too often and ended up practically immobile by the end of the day, then you know me well.

But I maintain it was worth it.

Debut of KEDK A Voice in Eugene

Introducing… KEDK A Voice in Eugene, the beginnings of an independent media project authored by my husband; just click the title of this post or follow the link featured on the side of my blog.

Here’s why you might find this important. My blog is about me and as such is a bit erratic at times when it comes to news surrounding our lives. If you are interested in news about what’s going on around us, in our neck of the woods, specifically our neighborhood “The Whit”, then you need to check it out.

Hey, it’s where I get my news.